I'm hearing voices

To all who have been frustrated by the poor quality of my cell phone over the past year or so . . .
Now when you call me, you won't be asked to call me back on my home phone, and your call isn't likely to be dropped. I received my new cell phone in the mail yesterday, and it's almost guaranteed to be a huge improvement. And although I didn't necessarily want anything 'fancy' (just a phone that functions well with making CALLS) it has a camera, so let me know if you have pix messaging capability. I promise I won't just send photos of my cat, though she is such a sight. .

at arm's length

An evening with Hem and Over the Rhine was just what I needed yesterday. We drove up to the city for dinner and a late show at the Great American Music Hall. Over the Rhine crowds are good people. I didn't even mind the drunk girl behind me playing with my hair. Hem played a fairly long set, and Jon and I decided that we liked them better live than on their album, even though they only had a stripped-down ensemble. Their songs are so soothing, I almost wanted to take a nap before OtR took the stage.



What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. You said it, Karin. My most loved band opened with my most favorite song. I could have wept through their entire set, but I didn't. We were as close to the stage as we could be, and I wanted to focus intently on the songs that they so beautifully offered us. It's difficult to do that through sobs and tears.



I could go on and on about how amazing Over the Rhine is in concert. But nothing I could say would do it justice. You just have to go and experience it for yourself. Okay, maybe I'll allow myself a few sentences. .
To me, their songs are so familiar and comforting, I'm home wherever I hear them. And there's nothing like Karin's voice. It can't be compared to anything I've heard.

I'm holding on to one of the lines from Summertime, the only cover they performed.
"One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing. You'll spread your wings and take to the sky."

warning: sarah's having a really bad day

what's the point? we work our meaningless jobs, pay our inflated bills, sit in front of televisions, cook our meals, try to look good, make purchase after purchase . . .
where does it get us? what is the lasting value in any of that? if my usefulness lies mainly in my ability to earn enough money to pay for groceries and doctor bills and parking tickets, then forget it. count me out. but what's my alternative option? i'm dissatisfied with my life, but where do i go with that? right now i just want to throw in the towel. it seems like nearly everything i've strived for has failed, and i'm left with almost nothing, almost no one. i'm so thankful for my wonderful husband. if it weren't for him, god only knows where i'd be.

my life has to have meaning and purpose, but the wounds i'm left with have taken me out of the game.

i'm back

Sorry for my silence. I kind of lost a good part of the past few weeks. That's awfully troubling to me. You probably wouldn't know it from looking at how I've lived my life so far, but one of my biggest fears is not spending my time wisely. But depression got the best of me and pulled me down into a sad state, and the next thing I knew, two weeks had passed me by.





We spent last weekend in Pasadena where we celebrated my sister-in-law's graduation from Azusa Pacific. The whole in-law family was able to make it down, except for Krista. Uncle Mel and Aunt Marcia threw a lovely party Saturday evening, and though we were somewhat sleep-deprived, it was so refreshing to be surrounded by those who know and love us well. It felt like gasping for air after the past few months I've had.






















It was not easy to return home on Sunday. The 6 hour drive was interrupted by a stop in San Luis Obispo where we spent a couple of hours with Josh and Sarah. After that, I REALLY didn't want to go home. Why do there have to be so many wonderful people in Southern California? Why aren't we there?


This morning I went for a hike at one of my favorite old preserves. Being out in open spaces clears my mind and gets me centered more than almost anything. An unafraid butterfly greeted me up at Hunter's Point, and even let me take his picture. That's central Silicon Valley below it. What a contrast.